It’s strange how some days academic reading can be so beautifully lined up with reality (almost as well as my Spotify radio 😎🎶).
The lecture was about perception “reality is only what we see, and we see only what we want to see”
My day yesterday was black. Black made more black. Black invaded previously pink thoughts.... you get the picture: BLACK.
Within this whirlwind of darkness, the lecture kept going around in my mind, and I yet saying to myself... You are bringing this on yourself if you really try to can change this.
The mind is to be respected. I think I have mental strength (at least a lot of training in mental strength) and yet I was not able to change my outlook. What I was able to do was give me a break. I think of it as a fold in consciousness.
I acknowledge my darkness meta-analyze and objectively understand that my darkness is causing me to see life in a certain light then I give myself a break, I try not to attach so much emotion into my outlook because I understand it like a state of mind (not as an overarching reality).
And then I give myself another break (this one a little counterintuitive), I stop fighting the darkness, I accept and embrace it as a necessary part of the whole. And that only embracing it will I be able to get over it. Then I drink a lot of wine (and then some more)
The next morning usually things make more sense. I am able to compartmentalize: some things really are shitty, but others take their normal rosy color and balance is restored.
I life to tell another day
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